Just me

It’s been some time since I’ve wrote.

Life has been hard and times have been rough. I would like to say in sobriety I have felt with a degree of difficulty in life that I have never felt before, but that’s not true. Life is as ever difficult and nothing has come my way that’s new. What’s new is the feelings. I feel things in difficult times that I use to numb away.

I find myself daydreaming about a life without problems. I find myself unfocused and trying to control everything around me since I have no control over myself. I feel stuck. I’m nine months in and feel like the progress I’ve made is slime to none.

I get it, don’t worry, it’s my disease speaking. I just find myself wondering if the down side of me will ever come back up. I have spoken to mental health providers and my Sponsor about how I’m feeling. Maybe it’s time to for me to get back into my mental health management.

I always thought with sobriety my mental health wound improve as well. It’s a tough pill to swallow and I’m not kidding about that. I wonder if those of you out there have been through similar times.What has been you’re experience in depression and anxiety after sobriety and how have you handled it??


Messy Jessy


7 thoughts on “Just me

  1. Ah those feelings. I remember the first year being really tough right around where you are now because of the feelings and no filter. It felt important to feel them at the time (for the first time in a long time) but I was also seeing a therapist and taking an antidepressant at the time. You’re not alone in what you’re feeling, but why suffer unnecessarily? I’d definitely talk to a professional, take care of yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My anxiety is always hovering but I am withdrawing from an antidepressant and that is one of the symptoms. It tends to settle down within 4 weeks from a recent drop. I won’t go down any further till I have sobriety under control. Alcohol works on the same receptors as anti anxiety meds and I believe the withdrawal from alcohol increases anxiety. Even Douglas Wilson, founder of AA suffered from post alcohol anxiety. Do what you need to do to survive. Some folks have success with Lexapro for anxiety. I have a friend who does well on pristiq. I do well with fish oil (3000mg EPA per day, for me that is 6 capsules) and especially magnesium which I find very calming. I take a powdered form and have it in iced water. I also take 1000mg Taurine which really calms my central nervous system and helps me sleep. 😘

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes, I relate to all of what you wrote. I use meds, exercise and energy work to get centered. The hardest part for me was realizing how truly challenging living a full life can be. The fact that this stuff is showing up is actually a good sign … you’re feeling it! Great thoughts, thanks for sharing this. I’m feeling so blessed to remember the path I’ve journeyed. You can do this. ♥ Lisa

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Life isn’t necessarily going to get easier any time soon. But the way that you deal with it can help a lot. Pray. Accept things as they are. Be grateful. The tough times and struggles are lessons to learn and get stronger from. Talk to people. Work the steps. Go to meetings. Live in the moment. Stop thinking about the past and the future. Realize that it’s all for a reason. God loves you and you are on the right path if you continue to stay sober one day at a time.


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