Sober first.

Mexico

I spent this past weekend on vacation in Mexico. I was invited down to good old Mexico with my husband and his family to celebrate a birthday among other things.  See, here is the problem with that.  EVERY time we go down to Mexico everyone gets shit face wasted and parties into the wee hours of the night.

I remember my first visit with my now husband.  It was spring break 2009.  I was nervous to meet new people, especially people who did not speak the same language as me.  Upon arriving I found that they did indeed speak my langue “Drink”.  We spent the whole weekend drinking and laughing, I even realized that most of them drank way more than me, so I didn’t feel so guarded about my drinking.  I thought I was in heaven and every trip after was the same.  Mexico was amazing…

Fast forward six years and the ride down there was nothing but pure anxiety.  My mind kept saying “Let’s have a Tecate”   I had to keep reminding myself that I wasn’t drinking. I had to remind myself that I wanted to stay in this sober club that I hear such good things about.  I had to remind myself that one beer would never just be enough and I having one beer did not exist. I was nervous to be surrounded by drinkers and have no place to escape.

Surprisingly enough, I did not need to escape so much.  I took the advice of a very knowledgeable sober pen pall and brought with me a replacement drink, Grapefruit sparkling water. My husband and I had talked before arriving and had agreed that I would not stay up all night and go to bed with the kids at a “safe place” a house where the party was not, every night.  We were a team.  He checked in on me many times and spent most of the day, when people were drinking, out together with the family running around town.  It was nice.

As I drove home I mentioned that this was the first time I had left Mexico to come home and not felt like complete shit and full of anxiety.  In all reality, the trip was quite pleasurable. It was indeed my first sober vacation.  I never in a million years thought that it was at all possible for me to go down to Mexico without having a drink.  I even thought that on the damn way down. It’s funny how your mind will try to trick you, it’s interesting how when you tune out the thoughts, they slowly start to fade away.  Bottom line, I felt like a rock star on Monday! Sober, sun, beach and fun.

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