It’s a very profound feeling. I have had a lot of it over the last few years. Right now life seems so overwhelming that I don’t know what to do. Today I called my doctor and told him I was an alcoholic and really struggling to stay sober. He asked for me to come in for an appointment. As I sat in his office I was scared and full of guilt. He asked why I was there and I told him everything. I asked if there was some sort of medication that could help me stay sober, some sort of magic pill for the cravings or Antabuse. I told him I had looked it up and wanted to see if he thought it could work for me.
What he told me was plain and simple. It’s a pill, it’s not magic, and it won’t stop you from drinking. It may kill you if you drink and take it. You need to just stop drinking. That was all and he sent me on my way.
So that’s it, you just stop forever. How does that work? I’ve tried it so many times and somehow I still end up back at the beginning full of guilt.