Losing

A lot has been on my mind lately.  I guess it’s because it’s been clear and I haven’t been drinking.

Have you ever felt someone slowly slipping away from you and not know what to do?   Do you give them space or do you smother them with love?  How do you even know, if they won’t talk to you?

Right now that’s what’s going on between my husband and me.  I’m angry about the infidelity and he thinks all I do is nag about it. He wants to know why I just don’t move on?

We argue about everything, we argue about arguing!  I still love him in my heart.  I can’t help but wonder if we just give up and split up would we be happier?670px-Get-Over-Losing-a-Best-Friend-Step-5

How did the one person that I laughed with, held hands with and thought I would spend the rest of my entire life with building a beautiful family become the one person I can’t stand to be around?  I just want to give to god and let go. Can someone please tell me how do you forgive and move on?

It feels like through all this, everyone involved is losing the one thing that we all cared so deeply about, our family.

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2 thoughts on “Losing

  1. This is such a hard thing to deal with. And so incredibly individual to the couple, the people, the situation.

    That being said, I find myself getting physically angry about the idea of someone that has been unfaithful wondering why you can’t “just move on”. That hurt never goes away. It’s been over six years since I was cheated on and I still carry the scars from that. Over three years into a new, healthy relationship and still find myself just waiting for it to happen again.

    It will not always hurt like it does now. You will not always be so angry. But I can’t imagine trying to do that healing while staying with the person that hurt me like that. I know people do. I know they can. That healing is such hard work anyway and it doesn’t sound like he is willing to help you with it, but instead gets impatient about his actions still having consequences.

    All I can say with any certainty, though, is that I’ve loved and still do love people I hope I never see again.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I recommend you pray for guidance and the ability to forgive him. What he did was wrong and he has no business telling you to get over it. It is in the past and cannot be undone. He broke your old marriage and you need to start a new one if your both wing to commit and remain faithful. A special ceremony or exchange of new vows with a sworn faithfulness would suffice. In help in forgiving him would be to look at your part not to say fault because he owned that. Was I attentive enough did I fulfill his fantasies. Did I treat sex like chore . If you provided in all those areas it’s harder to forgive. Now if he’s messed up and has porn and sex problems then he needs help and you should protect yourself from being harmed either way. All the best, may God bless you both and your kids if you have them

    Liked by 1 person

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