Holidays

How does an alcoholic successfully navigate through the upcoming holidays?

I have had a few sober Thanksgivings.  Two to be exact and it’s been the last two years a matter of fact.  The anxiety that overwhelms me is unstoppable.  I’m surrounded by people holding wine glasses full to the top and chit chatting.  There is a back bedroom in my mom’s house that I often go to to retreat.  I sit on the bed, sometimes covered in hives, rocking away.

Eventually, it gets so bad I can’t stand to be in that place anymore.  I ask everyone to get ready to leave and I’m met with comments like “Why, now? We are just starting to have fun.”  Or the infamous….”I’ll be ready after one more.”  One more turns into one more and one more and then just one more.  By this time I’m completely obsessed with getting back to my house where I feel safe.  I turn into the bitch at the party and everyone looks over and says. “Why are you leaving so soon?”  I have become the naggy wife.  I see it on his face too.

This year I’ve offered to visit and take two cars.  I told him once people start drinking and start ignoring the kids, I’m going home.  I would much rather sit on the couch, watch Christmas movies and drink hot coco with my children, than be around that.  Isn’t that what the holiday is about, spending time with your family?Thanksgiving-615x384

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4 thoughts on “Holidays

  1. This we’re we decided to do Thanksgiving just the two of us. I am so excited to not have to deal with any of that. Not having kids probably makes that a lot easier, though.

    I feel for you. I dread those situations regularly.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, I remember two years ago being about 40 days sober and stuck home by myself with the kids. I told my mom I was struggling , so she invited me over. As, I pulled up the driveway, it was full of cars. They were having a biker party. I nearly went insane, and retreated home within 45 mins. I must have looked like a freak. Home is my safe place. I prefer to stay home on the holidays, I HATE the holidays..

      Like

  2. Good plan. I no longer have to tell my wife why I’m leaving. Usually about two hours in the conversation and tenor change. I do the ghost departure. If I feel like I need to explain my disappearance to the host, I’ll call or send an email the next day. I just found this approach to work better than announcing my departure and halt the festive mode.

    Liked by 1 person

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